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Aziz Ansari
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50 Cent Grapefruit Story
I used to uh, I used to kid Harris for being chubby. He's actually not that chubby. He had a growth spurt, he streched out. He's fine. But... A few months ago I was actually worried that I was getting chubby. I saw a photo of me, on the internet, and in the comments, someone wrote; WHOAH! Who ate aziz ansari? Whitch, hold on, doesn't make any sense. If someone ate me they wouldn't assume my form all of a sudden. Why do you look like that g-? I JUST ATE HIM! But the person was right, I gained twelve pounds. So i started exerciseing at the gym, lost the whight right away. But I didn't always like the stuff the people in the gym would tell me. They would say things like, ' Hey, Aziz, 'you see this new study on yahoo's? Says any food you eat after eleven ' O clock goes straight to your belly. You should cut out those late night snacks.' and I would always wanna say, ' Oh, really? There's this other study I heard about, that says, uh, if you have a lot of alcohol in your system, and you eat a casidilla at three in the morning, its delicious. Yeah! I did that study. Last night. Twice. But I love food. I love going out to eat at resturants and stuff. It's really something I like a lot. I was eating at one of my favorite resturants, in New York, not too long ago, and I was having dinner with a friend. He's like, ' Aziz, what 'a you been up to?' and I said, ' SHUT UP! 50 Cent is sitting over there and I need to hear everything he says.' and 50 Cent did not dissapoint. 50 Cent, the rapper, ordered a grapefruit soda. The waiter brings him a grapefruit soda, and then 50 Cent said the greatest thing anyone could ever say, when they see a grapefruit soda. He looks at the waiter and he goes, 更多更詳盡歌詞 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 Why isn't this purple?' and it took me a few seconds, and then I realised, OH MY GOD 50 CENT HAS NO IDEA WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS! EXCUSE ME! EVERYBODY IN THE RESTURANT, SHUT UP! A WAITER IS ABOUT TO EXPLAIN TO A GROWN MAN WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS! Do you realise how amazing this is? There are parents that aren't there when thier children learns what a grapefruit is, I AM THERE FOR THAT MOMENT IN RAPPER 50 CENT' S LIFE! This guy leaves the resturant, he's gonna know about a new fruit! And the exchange was just glorious. The waiter, struggling to explain the concept of a grapefruit to a man that just didn't get it. He's like, ' No. You don't understand, they're two different things. Grape. Grapefruit. Grape. Grapefruit.' I know grapes are fruits. Why do you keep saying it like that?' ' No. It's just one word, grapefruit, you know it's just one, its a different...' ' I get it, grape, fruit. Orange, fruit. Carrot, vegetable.' ' No. That's not it at all.' And it just blew my mind, how does 50 Cent not know what a grapefruit is? This guy has been rich for soo loong. He has to run into a grapefruit every now and then. I do okay, I see grapefruits every fucking day! What happens when he sees a grapefruit? Is he just like, ' What's up with those oranges? They're all red and shit! And they're big as fuck! dude they're looking at me wierd! Shoot those-!
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