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Tim Minchin
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Three Minute Song - Conan Version
Clock! My people rang me up a couple of weeks ago Yeah, I've got people, and a phone, and a grasp on the passage of time Yeah, they rang me up, said 'Tim, do you wanna go on Conan's show? They want you to sing a song; baby, it'll be fine, fine, fine'
But the problem with my particular oeuvre Is that half my songs are five minutes and over And they say on USA TV That viewers switch off if you go past three And a lot of my songs have a bit of bad language Which causes viewers untold anguish I'm told your tolerance for smut does not extend beyond 'The Golden Girls' and 'Two and a Half Men.'
And so I…
Need a song that only goes for three minutes Without no boobs or blasphemy in it A charming little ditty that won't raise the rates of the hearts of the people in the pious states.
I need a song with a chor us and a verse Without no nasty cussing and a-cursing I'm a little too lewd and a little too long I gotta write myself a three minute song
And they said 'Remember, boy, that music is like lovemaking It's simply self-indulgent to take it past three minutes. Remember, boy, that music is like lovemaking Everybody loves a pianist but length must have a limit So you
Need a song that only goes for three minutes Without no pornography or politics in it A little less rude and more concise Just be yourself but brief and nice'
Three hundred beats at a hundred beats a minute With a nice clean jokes and a hoe-down in it I'm a little verbose and a little bit wrong 更多更詳盡歌詞 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 I gotta write myself a clean-living three minute song
And even in the bridge I won't be lyrically adventurous Conceptually contentious Or racially offensious And I won't make double entendres At the expense of the Chinese For China is a country that can bring me to my knees For China For China For China For China For China is a country that will bring me to my knees
'All right ladies you have periods, we get it.' a-ha-ha-ha
Two, three, fore skin
I need a little happy-clappy country song Nice and repetitive and not too long Boring enough but not too boring With a key change here to prevent me snoring
I need a song that only goes for three minutes Without no vulgarity or vulvas in it You don't get laughs by lingering But I'd better get a giggle with my fingering
PIANO SOLO
I need a song that causes no offense So I can flog more tickets to my concerts. In the hope that the network sticks me on A late night show or a nice sitcom. You've got a box and I want be in it And apparently you'll only watch for three minutes Don't mind me, I'll be done in three
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